The Smiling Buddha

One fine day my tooth cells died

And my buck tooth turned black

Looked in the mirror and hard I cried

Oh it looked so gross and wack

Didn’t laugh even at the funniest joke

Just Smiled at everyone and never laughed again

And Smiling Buddha was my new name

I went to a party and opened my mouth

And everyone there shouted aloud

Like they have seen bloody Mary

But my laughter was indeed scary

Then they laughed so hard, I cried

You still look beautiful they lied

Smiled at everyone and never  laughed again

And Smiling Buddha was my new name

Depressed, hideous, hiding my face

I met a man who’d got a scarred face

I asked

World is watching aren’t you scared

He simply said, son remember the word

World is a hoe. Fuck the world!!

I’ve still got a black tooth but I do laugh

They call me smiling Buddha

I tell them to fuck off

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How to cure depression.

Die.

That Prolly cures everything. Neck pain, back pain, flu, even diarrhea.

Some people would choose to live, only to know who sits on the iron throne. Or maybe to know if ‘Bhai’ ever gets married. Duh, curiosity.

Here are some instructions

Try cussing, it fucking helps. Rhodie you son of a bitch, give me my 5000 bucks.

Nvm, try being awkward, tell people you’re down, you’re depressed, you might even kill yourself. So cute when they care. Do it till they stop giving a fuck.

Smile and scare your depression away, you ugly pig.

I personally believe our stay here is so temporary, a billion year old universe, millions and millions of stars and galaxies and you think your sadness matters. It’s the end of the world?!? Eh?!?

Always remember, nothing means anything and we are all gonna die.

Eat fruits and veggies.

Take a walk into the woods and settle there, become a monk or some cannibals’ dinner, you’d feel better.

Look at the stars, if that helps. And know, half of the stars you see are already dead.

Good night. Hope you wake up with a will to live.

P.S.

Don’t trust a random blogger who tells you that it’s not gonna be alright. He prolly himself suffers from chronic depression and anxiety and is slowly dying, has a weird sense of humor, and loves dark jokes. And fucking does nothing but cuss.

Okay, you gonna be alright. Belive in yourself, believe in your plan, it’s gonna be alright. Trust me aur bolo Tara rara

Restarting blogging

There are things in my life, about which I know nothing. I don’t know why Bhawna hates me so much that she blocked me on all social media, I don’t know why I am restarting my blog after so many days, I don’t know why I stopped writing at the first place, I don’t know why I have to pee at 3’o clock on a cold night. 

There’s a lot depressing things going around and I have no clue why it’s happening.

There’s dreams I have given up on, there’s women I know i can never date. There’s things I know i CANT own and that, now after the spiritual and financial enlightenment feels OKAY. 

Reminds me of a poem by Harivansh Rai Bachhan. 

 प्यार मुझे उस प्याले से जो दूर हथेली से प्याला

चाव मुझे उस हाला से जो दूर अधर मुख से हाला

प्यार नहीं पा जाने में है

पाने के अरमानों में

पा जाता तो हाय न इतनी 

प्यारी लगती मधुशाला

It’s okay Bhawna if you wanna block me. Its totally alright. 

ये दास्ताँ भी कभी तुम्हे बताता

कब तक इलज़ाम दूँ अल्फ़ाज़ों को

सच तो ये है मुझे लिखना नहीं आता

कब तक नाम लूँ तेरी बेवफाई का

जब मुझे ही मोहब्बत करना नहीं आता

के प्यासा दिल रहेगा कब तक यूँ इंतज़ार में 

इसे कौन समझाए सेहरा में बरसात का मौसम नहीं आता

लुट गयीं मेरी अमानतें ज़िन्दगी की राह में

पर एक वो उसका दिया दर्द है, जो दिल से नहीं जाता

आखिर कब तक झूठी मुस्कान लिए फिरूँ

कोई तो मेरे हाल पूछता किसी को तो मैं सच बताता

महफ़िल में सबसे गले मिलने को जी करता है

पर क्या करें दिल से खंजर का खौफ भी नहीं जाता

चण्डीगढ़ की घटना पर एक कविता

Heard about the Chandigarh eve teasing incident. A rich brat of a BJP politician stalked and harassed a girl.

What’s worse is BJP’s attitude towards it. The leaders are, blaming the girl for the incident, which is shameful even for BJP politicians. History is the witness that whenever Women are disrespected, a Strom has come. Here’s my little warning to those in power.

जर्जर हो गए जुमले सारे

जर्जर हो गयी बातें

शैतानो से नहीं सुरक्षित

हो पायीं है रातें

है जन की रक्षा जिनके हवाले

वे भोग विलास में ऐंठे हैं

और सत्ता, पद के अहंकार में

रावण बन कर बैठे हैं

पर हर दुःशासन याद रखे

यजुनंदन की वाणी को

पांचाली के क्रंदन को

प्रतिकार की अमर कहानी को

जब नेता किसी गुनहगार को

महिमामंडित करते हैं

तब वे इस देश की जनता के

विश्वास को खंडित करते हैं

मैं सत्ता के उन पहरेदार को,

यह बात बताने आया हूँ

जन सेवा की शपथ उन्हें मैं

याद दिलाने आया हूँ

स्त्री का अपमान हुआ जब

विपदा ही सर पे आयी है

बड़े बड़े साम्राज्य मिटे यों

सम्राटों ने मुँह की खायी है

Delhi, Bombay and Bihar

Hey guys how are you doing!!! I dont care honestly, but mum said be nice. So……. Here’s a humorous battle between momos, vada pav and litti chokha

You know the amount of content out there about Delhi vs Mumbai is more than the population of both the cities. so, everytime delhi guys makes fun of mumbai folks or vice versa, I find it amusing. I really find it amusing, coz I ain’t from either of the cities.

I from a developed part of this country, the progressive part. BIHAR.

And boy, people are jealous. Whenever I tell them I am from bihar, they act like they’re scared but they are actually jealous. That’s why they hate us.

We are a racist country, you gotta accept it. Everytime a person tells where he is from, a follow up question is there, depending on where, he is from.

Like if you say, you are a bengali, people are like, Ami Tamako bhalo bashe, JAL KHABO, fucking everytime.

You say you’re from Punjab, oye balle balle, Barah baj gye kya! Canada kab ja rha hai. -_-

Wait for the ultimate one, no one in this country is as stereotyped as the “MADRASIS” even if (s)he is fair people will go and ask him ” TU GORA KYU HAI”. The Delhi people, their geography is messed up. This is Delhi, and everything north to it is punjab amd everything south to it is Madras. Bhopal is Madras, Raipur is Madras, Hyderabad definitely madras. Chennai, umm tu srilanka hai saale….

So the follow-up question for us bihari guys, is Tum kon se jail se bhaage ho?? I was in Delhi and a guy said, tum Tu Tihar se Bhaga hai na!!

I said, come on man, don’t be an ass, jail se Bhaga nahi mai, wo log chod diye meko. Mera pocket picketing ka 3 months pura ho gya tha na…..

You’ve to give in to the fact that biharis are intelligent, it’s no surprise that most of nation’s IAS IPs are Biharis. To be honest, there’s not much of career choices available to us. You either be a politician, or be an IAS officer or you sell fruits and veggies. I am a rookie in all the three, and the clan isn’t accepting me. Sigh.

Coming to the Bombay people, man they are hilarious. Their first goal in life is to make fun of Delhi guys. Their hierarchy is something like this, The south Bombay people are the pure bloods, rest of the town is half blood the Thane people are the muggleborns. And Delhi guys are the filthy muggles. But wait, this isn’t the end of the list. We are the last guys of the hierarchy table. The Dothrakis. The tribal uncivilized clans. Huh!!

The one thing that unites the Delhi and bombay people is their shared hatred for the bihari guys.

*Sigh*

That’s that guys. I wanted to start a you tube channel with this content, looks like will have to wait a bit. Please please comment how you felt about this. Thank you.

Where’s my Mind?

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground

Try this trick and spin around

Your head will collapse

If there’s nothing in it

And you’ll ask yourself

Where’s my mind??

Sometimes i wonder

What it takes to go insane

And what is it that keeps me sane

Coz, my mind has always been hostile

Loving and hating the world all the while

Realism, narcissism and the sucidial brain

It does what I hate all the same

My mind is on his own,

Who am I, then; never known

It does give me some space to whine

And I wonder,

Where’s my mind???

Epitaph

कह रहा हूँ दिल का फ़साना

ज़रा ध्यान से सुनना

के क्या पता तुम्हे इसमें

ज़िन्दगी का फ़लसफ़ा मिल जाए

जिसे ढूँढ़ते हो ज़माने में सदियों से

इस कहानी में तुम्हे वो वफ़ा मिल जाए

इन स्याह लफ़्ज़ों में कहीं किसी दिल को भी

तन्हा ही सही, थोड़ी सी जगह मिल जाए

ये जो हो गये हैं, अकेलेपन के कारण बीमार से

इनकी बीमारी को भी, क्या पता, यहाँ दवा मिल जाए

ये जो चराग है बुझने को तड़पते

खुदा की नेमत हो, और इन्हें जरा हवा मिल जाए
A friend of mine, asked what’s going to be written on your epitaph…….

How’s your story going to begin?

I didn’t know then, I know now!!!

How’s your story going to begin???

🙂