The Smiling Buddha

One fine day my tooth cells died

And my buck tooth turned black

Looked in the mirror and hard I cried

Oh it looked so gross and wack

Didn’t laugh even at the funniest joke

Just Smiled at everyone and never laughed again

And Smiling Buddha was my new name

I went to a party and opened my mouth

And everyone there shouted aloud

Like they have seen bloody Mary

But my laughter was indeed scary

Then they laughed so hard, I cried

You still look beautiful they lied

Smiled at everyone and never  laughed again

And Smiling Buddha was my new name

Depressed, hideous, hiding my face

I met a man who’d got a scarred face

I asked

World is watching aren’t you scared

He simply said, son remember the word

World is a hoe. Fuck the world!!

I’ve still got a black tooth but I do laugh

They call me smiling Buddha

I tell them to fuck off

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A Normal Day

Okay, imagine you are Max. Max works in a Bank, wakes up at 6:30, checks his Facebook feed/ WordPress/Twitter while pooping, Max then gets a shower, eat cereals for breakfast with some eggs. Usually half fried. then gets ready for office, wears a blue tie, because blue ties on Mondays. Max then leaves for his office, boards a public bus, shows the conductor his daily pass, looks at a cute girl and try to start the conversation and fails. Two stops later he gets down, greets everyone at the office, a few handshakes, some hi fives, usual work, putting some files here and putting some files there.

Work done. goodbyes, handshakes, some high fives, he then boards the public bus, watches Prime time news debates while having dinner and sleeps.

Pretty boring right.

Now imagine the other Max,

Max’s Alarm doesn’t go off and he wakes up at 8, rushes to bathroom only to realise there’s something wrong with the Geaser, spends enormous time finding his blue tie which he later finds under the bed.

He has ran out of milk, and he successfully manages to burn his eggs.

The lift is broken and he comes down by stairs. Max runs to the bus stop but the bus has already left. Gets a cab, and forgets his wallet and phone in the cab. Reaches late in the office on the audit day and gets fired, walks back to his home and finds out his house is on fire.

Pretty adventurous, right.

We don’t want this much adventure. Do we?!?

It can always be worse. Because there’s no such thing as enough tragedies you might as well be happy with your share of tragedies.

The most underrated blessing is a normal fucking day. Remember this.

How to cure depression.

Die.

That Prolly cures everything. Neck pain, back pain, flu, even diarrhea.

Some people would choose to live, only to know who sits on the iron throne. Or maybe to know if ‘Bhai’ ever gets married. Duh, curiosity.

Here are some instructions

Try cussing, it fucking helps. Rhodie you son of a bitch, give me my 5000 bucks.

Nvm, try being awkward, tell people you’re down, you’re depressed, you might even kill yourself. So cute when they care. Do it till they stop giving a fuck.

Smile and scare your depression away, you ugly pig.

I personally believe our stay here is so temporary, a billion year old universe, millions and millions of stars and galaxies and you think your sadness matters. It’s the end of the world?!? Eh?!?

Always remember, nothing means anything and we are all gonna die.

Eat fruits and veggies.

Take a walk into the woods and settle there, become a monk or some cannibals’ dinner, you’d feel better.

Look at the stars, if that helps. And know, half of the stars you see are already dead.

Good night. Hope you wake up with a will to live.

P.S.

Don’t trust a random blogger who tells you that it’s not gonna be alright. He prolly himself suffers from chronic depression and anxiety and is slowly dying, has a weird sense of humor, and loves dark jokes. And fucking does nothing but cuss.

Okay, you gonna be alright. Belive in yourself, believe in your plan, it’s gonna be alright. Trust me aur bolo Tara rara

Restarting blogging

There are things in my life, about which I know nothing. I don’t know why Bhawna hates me so much that she blocked me on all social media, I don’t know why I am restarting my blog after so many days, I don’t know why I stopped writing at the first place, I don’t know why I have to pee at 3’o clock on a cold night. 

There’s a lot depressing things going around and I have no clue why it’s happening.

There’s dreams I have given up on, there’s women I know i can never date. There’s things I know i CANT own and that, now after the spiritual and financial enlightenment feels OKAY. 

Reminds me of a poem by Harivansh Rai Bachhan. 

 प्यार मुझे उस प्याले से जो दूर हथेली से प्याला

चाव मुझे उस हाला से जो दूर अधर मुख से हाला

प्यार नहीं पा जाने में है

पाने के अरमानों में

पा जाता तो हाय न इतनी 

प्यारी लगती मधुशाला

It’s okay Bhawna if you wanna block me. Its totally alright. 

ये दास्ताँ भी कभी तुम्हे बताता

कब तक इलज़ाम दूँ अल्फ़ाज़ों को

सच तो ये है मुझे लिखना नहीं आता

कब तक नाम लूँ तेरी बेवफाई का

जब मुझे ही मोहब्बत करना नहीं आता

के प्यासा दिल रहेगा कब तक यूँ इंतज़ार में 

इसे कौन समझाए सेहरा में बरसात का मौसम नहीं आता

लुट गयीं मेरी अमानतें ज़िन्दगी की राह में

पर एक वो उसका दिया दर्द है, जो दिल से नहीं जाता

आखिर कब तक झूठी मुस्कान लिए फिरूँ

कोई तो मेरे हाल पूछता किसी को तो मैं सच बताता

महफ़िल में सबसे गले मिलने को जी करता है

पर क्या करें दिल से खंजर का खौफ भी नहीं जाता

चण्डीगढ़ की घटना पर एक कविता

Heard about the Chandigarh eve teasing incident. A rich brat of a BJP politician stalked and harassed a girl.

What’s worse is BJP’s attitude towards it. The leaders are, blaming the girl for the incident, which is shameful even for BJP politicians. History is the witness that whenever Women are disrespected, a Strom has come. Here’s my little warning to those in power.

जर्जर हो गए जुमले सारे

जर्जर हो गयी बातें

शैतानो से नहीं सुरक्षित

हो पायीं है रातें

है जन की रक्षा जिनके हवाले

वे भोग विलास में ऐंठे हैं

और सत्ता, पद के अहंकार में

रावण बन कर बैठे हैं

पर हर दुःशासन याद रखे

यजुनंदन की वाणी को

पांचाली के क्रंदन को

प्रतिकार की अमर कहानी को

जब नेता किसी गुनहगार को

महिमामंडित करते हैं

तब वे इस देश की जनता के

विश्वास को खंडित करते हैं

मैं सत्ता के उन पहरेदार को,

यह बात बताने आया हूँ

जन सेवा की शपथ उन्हें मैं

याद दिलाने आया हूँ

स्त्री का अपमान हुआ जब

विपदा ही सर पे आयी है

बड़े बड़े साम्राज्य मिटे यों

सम्राटों ने मुँह की खायी है