Amazing how average human mind can refuse to fall in line and be rebellious. Initial stages involve, anger and frustration, shouting at people, breaking things, insomnia, depression all sorts of things. Because ah well, we love destruction. The second stage, most people give up here, I would suggest not. It involves self harm, carving art with blades, getting happy looking at the blood, suicide. But not everyone commits suicide, some survive, survive to get to the third stage where they become……………………………??


और एक शाम है

FYI, I am Guldaan.


A Normal Day

Okay, imagine you are Max. Max works in a Bank, wakes up at 6:30, checks his Facebook feed/ WordPress/Twitter while pooping, Max then gets a shower, eat cereals for breakfast with some eggs. Usually half fried. then gets ready for office, wears a blue tie, because blue ties on Mondays. Max then leaves for his office, boards a public bus, shows the conductor his daily pass, looks at a cute girl and try to start the conversation and fails. Two stops later he gets down, greets everyone at the office, a few handshakes, some hi fives, usual work, putting some files here and putting some files there.

Work done. goodbyes, handshakes, some high fives, he then boards the public bus, watches Prime time news debates while having dinner and sleeps.

Pretty boring right.

Now imagine the other Max,

Max’s Alarm doesn’t go off and he wakes up at 8, rushes to bathroom only to realise there’s something wrong with the Geaser, spends enormous time finding his blue tie which he later finds under the bed.

He has ran out of milk, and he successfully manages to burn his eggs.

The lift is broken and he comes down by stairs. Max runs to the bus stop but the bus has already left. Gets a cab, and forgets his wallet and phone in the cab. Reaches late in the office on the audit day and gets fired, walks back to his home and finds out his house is on fire.

Pretty adventurous, right.

We don’t want this much adventure. Do we?!?

It can always be worse. Because there’s no such thing as enough tragedies you might as well be happy with your share of tragedies.

The most underrated blessing is a normal fucking day. Remember this.


How to cure depression.


That Prolly cures everything. Neck pain, back pain, flu, even diarrhea.

Some people would choose to live, only to know who sits on the iron throne. Or maybe to know if ‘Bhai’ ever gets married. Duh, curiosity.

Here are some instructions

Try cussing, it fucking helps. Rhodie you son of a bitch, give me my 5000 bucks.

Nvm, try being awkward, tell people you’re down, you’re depressed, you might even kill yourself. So cute when they care. Do it till they stop giving a fuck.

Smile and scare your depression away, you ugly pig.

I personally believe our stay here is so temporary, a billion year old universe, millions and millions of stars and galaxies and you think your sadness matters. It’s the end of the world?!? Eh?!?

Always remember, nothing means anything and we are all gonna die.

Eat fruits and veggies.

Take a walk into the woods and settle there, become a monk or some cannibals’ dinner, you’d feel better.

Look at the stars, if that helps. And know, half of the stars you see are already dead.

Good night. Hope you wake up with a will to live.


Don’t trust a random blogger who tells you that it’s not gonna be alright. He prolly himself suffers from chronic depression and anxiety and is slowly dying, has a weird sense of humor, and loves dark jokes. And fucking does nothing but cuss.

Okay, you gonna be alright. Belive in yourself, believe in your plan, it’s gonna be alright. Trust me aur bolo Tara rara


Restarting blogging

There are things in my life, about which I know nothing. I don’t know why Bhawna hates me so much that she blocked me on all social media, I don’t know why I am restarting my blog after so many days, I don’t know why I stopped writing at the first place, I don’t know why I have to pee at 3’o clock on a cold night. 

There’s a lot depressing things going around and I have no clue why it’s happening.

There’s dreams I have given up on, there’s women I know i can never date. There’s things I know i CANT own and that, now after the spiritual and financial enlightenment feels OKAY. 

Reminds me of a poem by Harivansh Rai Bachhan. 

 प्यार मुझे उस प्याले से जो दूर हथेली से प्याला

चाव मुझे उस हाला से जो दूर अधर मुख से हाला

प्यार नहीं पा जाने में है

पाने के अरमानों में

पा जाता तो हाय न इतनी 

प्यारी लगती मधुशाला

It’s okay Bhawna if you wanna block me. Its totally alright. 


ये दास्ताँ भी कभी तुम्हे बताता

कब तक इलज़ाम दूँ अल्फ़ाज़ों को

सच तो ये है मुझे लिखना नहीं आता

कब तक नाम लूँ तेरी बेवफाई का

जब मुझे ही मोहब्बत करना नहीं आता

के प्यासा दिल रहेगा कब तक यूँ इंतज़ार में 

इसे कौन समझाए सेहरा में बरसात का मौसम नहीं आता

लुट गयीं मेरी अमानतें ज़िन्दगी की राह में

पर एक वो उसका दिया दर्द है, जो दिल से नहीं जाता

आखिर कब तक झूठी मुस्कान लिए फिरूँ

कोई तो मेरे हाल पूछता किसी को तो मैं सच बताता

महफ़िल में सबसे गले मिलने को जी करता है

पर क्या करें दिल से खंजर का खौफ भी नहीं जाता